06 May Sometimes Kids are Crazy and theres Nothing You Can Do About It
First, off some people might think my wife and I are crazy because we are having a third kid! DeLeon baby #3 is due in October and we are very happy (even if it wasn’t exactly planned). We hear around this time you start hearing the stupid comments like “you know what causes that don’t you?”. How exactly do you respond to something like that? Even if made in jest it still implies there is something wrong with having more than 2 kids. Anyway, another PSA that my wife will appreciate, DO NOT TOUCH A PREGNANT WOMAN’S BELLY! She really only wants her husband (or children) to do that, if anybody. Unless she specifically tells you its ok, don’t do it. Just because someone is pregnant (or you think they are) doesn’t give you the right to just touch them. This applies to family and friends too! Just trust me. Now onto the blog!
So you’re sitting there and your child is busy playing on the floor and everyone seems happy. Then you do the unthinkable, you ask them to put their toys away. From the adult perspective this seems like a simple request that should just be done without question. Instead, what ensues is a burning glare, followed by a “No, Mommy I don’t want to”, followed by throwing said toys on the ground and then flailing around and screaming “you’re mean!”. Multiply your level of annoyance/embarrassment if this happens in public or in front of friends. Ultimately however, as long as you remain consistent in not letting them believe this behavior is acceptable, then you are doing your job.
We all have people who mean well and try to offer advice on how to parent your children. The parents usually know what does and doesn’t work, and have most likely tried whatever the person is suggesting (there’s not a lot of NEW ideas out there). As parents we have to realize that sometimes kids are crazy and there is nothing you (or anyone else) can do about it. You just have to make it clear that the behavior is unacceptable, don’t give in to their demands (as if they are some snack wanting TOY wielding terrorist), and at some point the tantrum will be over and you can have a conversation with them about why that was wrong and they shouldn’t act that way. This may not occur until after they have screamed their head off for an undetermined amount of time after you sent them to their room, they kicked their door over and over, and possibly after 3-4 texts to your spouse who is conveniently at work about how horrible your child is being.
So where is the silver lining in all this? For starters, they don’t ALWAYS act like that (right?). Sometimes they are the sweetest things you can imagine (and I’m told this makes up for their craziness). More importantly sometimes you get the confirmation you need that finally lets you relax and let yourself believe you are a good parent and you’re not ruining your child for life.
A few weeks ago my wife and I had our parent teacher conference with Claire’s pre-k teacher. We were both somewhat dreading it because we know that Claire does not listen to us very well (at all) and we were worried we would here similar things from her teacher (although we never have before). So we told the teacher our concerns and she laughed and proceeded to tell us how great Claire was and how smart she is (blah blah blah). She went over an in depth progress report and it was overwhelmingly positive. She told us Claire is not even close to ADD (we were only slightly concerned haha) and her listening issues are directly related to her age and personality (she is very strong willed). She also said the fact she listens and behaves well for her teachers shows that her parents are doing a good job. We always hear this from other people who watch her and I guess we just never fully believed it. As difficult as she can be for us, its helpful to know that our work is paying off in how she behaves when we are not around. Hopefully that continues on as she gets older. If you are the parent who gets a bad report from school, my suggestion would be to take it serious and don’t pretend your child is perfect. Accept the fact that you may be the problem and try and make some changes, the earlier the better.